Censored!

I’m accessing this from Phuket. I logged into the WordPress homepage and was surprised to see that all the highlighted blogs had the words CENSORED on it!

It’s an odd thing indeed when you’re so used to a “free” press in Australia. I know that lots of stuff never makes the newspapers in Malaysia but the internet is relatively free.

I do recall that famous photo of a young blonde woman on a tennis court scratching her bare bottom. There was an article about the photographer in Time or Newsweek, I think, and her bare bottom was censored. Malaysia, of course, is most sensitive about private parts. I also remember a photo in Berita Harian a couple of years back showing a a motorcyclist that had been crushed by a lorry. It was a most disturbing photo for it showed his distraught bloodied face and his innards spilling out. No censorship there!

Censorship is a most difficult subject indeed. Some authors would like to get their books censored for the sheer publicity. Others prefer not to received death threats. Just ask Salman Rushdie.

As for me, I try to write moderately. For you never know, the taxi driver from hell may be out to get me!

Taxi Driver from Hell

We arrived last week at LCCT, the budget airline terminal in Kuala Lumpur that hosts AirAsia.

We bought the taxi coupon and after some confusion found the taxi rank. We were then ushered into a black car.

The taxi driver was awfully unfriendly who only grunted when spoken too. I examined the stickers on his car. There was a distinct political, military and police connection about these badges.

Glancing at my driver, I realised to my alarm that he appeared to be, what can only be called, a “Special Branch” type. Not the sort of person you’d want knocking on your front door at midnight.

Why was I, my wife and two kids in this car? Was this guy moonlighting as a taxi driver when he wasn’t arresting or spying on citizens?

It all seemed okay for the first 20 minutes. Then the driver seemed to get irritated by a slow driver in front. He suddenly converted into the demon driver from hell, shooting down a 90km/h stretch at 140km/h, weaving between cars and high speed and braking suddenly.

I clutched onto my seat for dear life. I tried to control my breathing. I was worried for my family. I was worried for ourlives!

What a wonderful welcome to Malaysia this was.

I wonder if our demon driver had taken tourists on his hellish ride in his black vehicle. I wonder if they found their intro to Malaysia “Truly Asia” or “Truly Awful”?

I’ll be going to LCCT again unfortunately. Wish me luck!

Download in Melbourne

I’m in Melbourne. I’ve got my trusty Kindle with me. It’s got 60% of the latest Stephen King novel on it in audiobook so far. (It’s the one with the Kennedy assassination date on it)

It’s taken several hours on wi fi to get to that download stage. But I don’t mind, it’s worth waiting for but I just need to find some wi fi hotspots to continue the download.

It’s a windy sunny day in Melbourne. Just got in this lunch time on a bumpy Jetstar flight.

The city is busy as usual with trams shunting up and down and music blaring from somewhere. But I don’t mind. It’s the big city buzz for this small town guy.

From this internet cafe, I can still hear the trams, still hear the shuffling feet of shoppers.

It’s all pretty familar to me as I get here at least two or three times a year. Last time, I saw Tiger Woods getting off a chopper on his way to the Crown Casio.

I wonder who I’ll spy this time. Maybe you (if you’re a Melburnian) crossing the street on your way somewhere nice perhaps …

But you won’t know me and I won’t know you.

The best thing about this internet cafe is that I’m writing fast becuase it’s costing me A$2.90 for 15 minutes. We all have to save somehow!

The In-Between Week

I’ve always found the week between Christmas and New Year rather curious.

Depending on which country you live in, you may find heaps of people going on leave. In the UK and Australia, this is shopping week. There’re big sales to take advantage of (Or do you think perhaps, just maybe, that it’s the shops taking advantage of you?)

Some offices may close entirely this week. Those who at work may be in for a quiet time (thank goodness!). There’s less to do. It’s an opportunity for long lunches or long chats over coffee with colleagues.

It’s an odd in-between time between two major celebrations. One religious. The other secular. Although even the Christian one is celebrated by those of other religions for it’s morphed, for so many people, into a cultural (and very commercial) event.

After all, who doesn’t want presents?

So as I sit alone in my office… I’d like to wish you a Happy and Merry In-Between Week!

Is the Mona Lisa worth a visit?

I found a holiday snap from several years back. We went to visit the Mona Lisa.

The most famous painting in the world was protected by thick bullet proof glass.

We were kept at a safe distance so there’s not even the slightest chance of inspecting Leonardo da Vinci’s individual brush strokes or find the contrasts between light and shadow. So, it was a disappointment.

But you can always look at the brighter side of life. So I turned my camera around and took a shot of my fellow museum visitors. They had all come to pay homage as we had. And I would love to have painted them. I’m sure Leonardo would have too!

 

What could they be thinking, I wonder?

 

 

 

Who is Artemis Hunt?

It appears that “Artemis Hunt has a husband who thinks all fiction is nonsense and all writers of fiction should get their heads checked for situational delusions.”

That seems to be all we know about this mysterious author – although there’s a rumour that she’s got Malaysian links. I really doubt this though as her writing seems far too Californian!

But, if she is Malaysian, then Malaysia-boleh! because she’s certainly one of the nation’s most prolific and successful.

Great cover, huh?

Recently, Artemis unloaded on us six e-books entitled:

The Body Snatcher Wears Lipstick
The Hunt For The Catalyst
The Ether World Chronicles: Beginnings
The Body Snatcher Wears Lipstick
Snow White And The Alien
Psychotic – A Thriller Short (by A.R Hunt)

You can get a rush from her books on her blog.

I’m in the middle of Snow White and the Alien and the writing’s just great. There’s no limit to this Californian’s imagination and its Kindle-clicking good!

I’m going to give Artemis’s husband a call soon, as I continue to type out my own novel, just to check on my own “situational delusion”!

Proud Dad

Last week my 15-year old daughter brought a piece of art work back home.

Here it is:

I was really proud …

Seems like only yesterday when she was a toddler. It goes so fast. Life seems to zip by.

This morning I found a book on my shelf. The date I’d written in it told me I’d bought it 26 years ago. No way!

How could the 21-year-old me even contemplate that I would be staring at his own writing so many years into the future?

What things would I’ve done differently, knowing what I know now.

What things would I do differently today, if I have the wisdom of someone 20 years older?

Who was it that said “Youth is wasted on the young”?

But I console myself with the maxim “Learn as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you only have today.”

Fool-Proof Half Boiled Eggs recipe

Ever placed your hard boiled eggs into a boiling saucepan only, in abject despair, to see them crack and ooze?

Ever cracked your half boiled eggs only to find your well-earned-meal too frustratingly watery or dry and hard, like love gone wrong?

Then this fool-proof, gourmet, 5-star recipe will work every time …

1. Place the eggs into a sauce pan.

2. Fill it with cold water so that the eggs are just covered.

3. Turn stove on to MEDIUM.

4. As soon as the water boils (which means bubbling vigorously), remove eggs.

5. Eat and think fondly of me!

If you’d like Hard Boiled Eggs instead, turn stove on to LOW and follow the same instructions. If you’d like you eggs Runny then turn your stove on to HIGH.

Whilst at boarding school, I learnt to slice off the top of the egg with a butter knife. It’s pretty neat! So there’s no need for tapping the egg shell and burning your fingers pulling bits of shell off.

Well worth the boarding school fees! ☺

Warning: This Photo May Offend!

"Hello!"

If it does then I apologise.

It will, of course, depend on the particular religion you follow.

Not only that, but how exactly you interpret it. What its tenets mean to you. How you see its teachings.

I came across the pig heads at a jamon or ham shop whilst strolling around one afternoon in Barcelona. “This is something you won’t see in KL,” I said to myself as I snapped the photo.

Someone told me that when the Christian Spaniards conquered the Muslim south all those centuries ago, the Christian rulers deliberately encouraged the eating of pork just as a way of rubbing the losers’ face in it. I don’t know if it’s true.

But I do know I enjoyed their tapas, paella and (non-alcholic) Sangria!

Turn that Book into a Hamburger!

“Most books consist of a chapter’s worth of ideas and a further 11 chapters of hamburger filler.” So says Michael Levin in a letter to the Economist a couple of months back.

I agree, except I couldn’t find the tomato sauce!

But seriously, I pretty much agree with him.

There are so many self-help, business, health and other non-fiction books out there espousing the usual nonsense. Some will have a couple of good ideas, others can’t even manage that. As Mr Levin says “95% of the books that are published today are done so not because they have anything new to say but because their authors have come up with a well-developed marketing plan.”

This, I assume, is restricted to the world of non-fiction but maybe not. Hmmm … that novel I just read seems pretty similar to one I read a few years back … you know the one about the little boy/girl living in Nazi Germany.

Michael Levin is a best-selling author. I only found that out by hopping over to his website as he did sign off on his letter “Chief executive, BusinessGhost”. He markets what he calls the Effortless Authorship Home Study System for US$199. Hmmm … sounds like a good deal and I was pretty tempted.

Good marketing, Michael!