A friend recently said to me, “You’ve got a lousy blog!”

I was taken aback. “Why do you say that?”

“Well,” he wheezed. “You talk about lots of stuff. But no Malaysian politics lah.”

“I try to avoid politics.”

“Eh, why is that? People want to read about politics.”

“Very simple. I don’t want to get ISA-ed.”

“Aiyah, you’re a Tunku. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Eh friend, being a Tunku is nothing these days. Just ask Raja Petra.”

“He’s a Raja lah. You’re a Tunku.”

“They’re the same thing. Anyway, being overseas it’s not so easy to keep in touch with the local situation.”

“You’re making excuses. It’s all online. You can comment, you know. There’s so much happening. There’s the Bersih rally that just happened. Elections are coming up too.”

“I’m afraid I’m not much good at politics.”

“Eh, don’t bullshit lah. There’s so much you can talk about. There’s all this race stuff. There’s government control of the media. The Anwar trial. There’re people falling off buildings. Then there’s corruption and more corruption and even more corruption …”

“Hey, I think you’re repeating yourself!”

“No, no … the first corruption is about government officials accepting bribes. The second one is corruption in the private sector. You know payoffs from suppliers. The third is corruption in the family.”

“What do you mean by corruption in the family?”

“Aiyah, I’m talking about affairs, sexual encounters, and all that sort of thing.”

“Eh, I don’t see how corruption can lead to extra-marital encounters.”

“Very simple. Accepting bribes leads to corruption of the soul. It destroys virtue. Kills everything that’s good and kind. Naturally, this leads to corruption in the family.”

“You know, you’re so idealistic. Anyway, are you saying everyone in Malaysia is having an affair?”

“No lah. But I’m saying a lot of people are!”

“So now you know why I don’t want to blog about politics.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll have to write about sex!”

“Very funny. If you want to be relevant then you must discuss politics.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll write about politics one day.”

“Great! Make it soon, ah?”

“Sure. Just don’t forget to visit me in Kamunting.”

“No problem. Anyway, you’re a Tunku. They’ll give you special food.”

“Yeah, like hell.”

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