Way back in June I posted my second article I wrote for Quill magazine on Creative Writing.
I thought it’s high time I put up the third article. So here it is. I hope you get something out of it for your own writing.
I’ve previously talked about how ideas can lead us to a story and also how to develop a character.
When we add dialogue, the characters come to life – they start talking. Dialogue can bring variety and spice to a story. Other than a way of passing more information to the reader, dialogue allows the reader to see how the people in the story interact with each other. This further reveals their character.
There are standard ways of showing dialogue, for example:
‘I put the bomb there,’ said Jason.
‘Then you’re a fool,’ said his mother. ‘You’re got rubbish for brains. Why did you do such a thing?’
‘But . . . we need the money,’ said Jason. ‘I did it for you. Can’t you understand?’
‘I should throw you out on the streets. What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?’
‘I didn’t mean to . . .’
‘When are you getting paid anyway?’
We now ‘hear’ the characters speak and how they interact, and so find out more about the characters. The above example reveals that Jason is timid and his mother dominates him. Instead of being weak and quiet, which is what we might expect of a sick person, we find out that Jason’s mother is an old dragon.
Notice how in the last few lines, I’ve omitted the attribution verb (the ‘he said’/‘she said’ part of it) because, from the flow of the writing, it becomes obvious who’s speaking. Also, when using the attribution verb, it’s best to stick to the plain old ‘said’, instead of trying to vary it with other attribution verbs like ‘declared’, ‘exclaimed’, ‘uttered’, ‘announced’ or anything else you can come up with. For example:
‘I put the bomb there,’ uttered Jason.
‘Then you’re a fool,’ declared his mother. ‘You’re got rubbish for brains. Why did you do such a thing?’
‘But . . . we need the money,’ exclaimed Jason. ‘I did it for you. Can’t you understand?’
The writing is cumbersome and attention is drawn to the attribution verb which, in fact, adds little to the writing. In contrast, the plain old ‘said’ stays almost hidden in a sentence and allows the dialogue to stand out.
Notice too that I’ve not used adverbs, that is the words with the ‘ly’ at the end of it like: lazily, timidly, shamefully. Most writers will tell you that using adverbs weakens the writing, making it melodramatic. For example:
‘I put the bomb there,’ said Jason fearfully.
‘Then you’re a fool,’ said his mother angrily. ‘You’re got rubbish for brains. Why did you do such a thing?’
‘But . . . we need the money,’ said Jason feebly. ‘I did it for you. Can’t you understand?’
The adverbs impede the flow of the writing and have, perhaps, made it a bit silly. Also, it doesn’t add much to the scene.
Once characters are talking, you can bring in slang, dialect and, especially in a Malaysian scene, non-English words. For example:
‘Alamak!’ cried Zain. ‘Where that smoke coming from?’
‘From that coffee shop, mah?’ said Swee Leng.
‘Mana air? mana air?’ said Zain, flapping his hands about.
‘I don know lah,’ said Swee Leng. ‘You got bucket or not?’
Listen to how people speak around you and the phrases they use. This will help your dialogue and your story will be a whole heap more interesting.
October 24, 2007 at 7:46 am
‘Wa lau wei!!’ she said. ‘I hafta try this the next time I blog!! Chankyew chankyew chankyew ar, Tunku!!!’
October 24, 2007 at 7:54 am
Good advice. I prefer to stick to ‘said’ myself, but some folks would rather ‘declare’ their preference for others forms of attribution. But I do tend to sneak in some adverbs here and there, I confess guiltily.
October 24, 2007 at 2:50 pm
hmmm… those dialogue i put in my blog… i differentiate them by colours… reckon writing he/she said is… distracting… 🙂
October 25, 2007 at 4:11 am
Interesting tips, useful:)
October 25, 2007 at 8:25 am
Lyrical – “No problem one. You make sure you keep writing, okay or not?”
Lydia – You’re not the only one. It’s a trap we can easily fall into. ‘Said’ really is the easiest!
Zewt – Colours! I suppose that works on a computer, but not so in a books, unless of course it’s a full colour volume. 🙂
Rumaizah – I hope you get to apply some of it!
October 25, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Well, I heeded your advice (to the best of my abilities!) in my latest blog post. But them adverbs….I love ’em, man! 😛
October 25, 2007 at 8:37 pm
So this is what they teach in creative writing classes. Very fascinating indeed! Will bear in mind all your tips the next time I attempt to write something interesting. 😀
October 26, 2007 at 1:53 pm
You know, TH, there are a lot of dialogue books that tell you not to write what people really say in real life. They say it kills the story. I don’t know. I’m divided about it.
October 28, 2007 at 11:25 am
One question about dialogue, TH. What if in a story, the telephone conversation between two parties are in Malay? Let’s say, a Chinese and her Indonesian maid? If the book caters to Malaysian readership, it wouldn’t be a problem. But if international, how?
October 29, 2007 at 2:29 am
Lyrical Serai – Yeah, adverbs can be fun sometimes and I’ll say so cheerily!
Kat – I reckon they cover dialogue and a whole lot of others in creative writing classes. If there isn’t one near you, creative writing books are a great substitute.
October 29, 2007 at 2:47 am
Xeus – You know, I tend to agree with them. In real life people take longer to say things with lots of oohs and aahhs and broken up sentences. It can get awfully boring and disjointed. Best thing is to do a transcript of a conversation and read it! 🙂
Alice – An excellent question! Here’s one way.
“Siapa sakit?” asked Poh Ling. “Saya ingat you bohong lah!” Who’s sick? I think you’re lying.
“Tidak, mem, tidak,” pleaded Nur . “Saya cakap betul!” No, madam. I’m telling the truth.
Here’s a second method:
“Who’s sick?” asked Poh Ling in Malay. “I think you’re lying lah!”
“No, madam, no,” pleaded Nur in her own Javanese Malay. “I’m telling the truth.”
Poh Ling slammed the phone down.
“Stupid servants,” she said to her uncle, glad to be speaking English again.
As you can see, there are different ways of doing it.
A third method might be to write all dialogue in English and assume that the reader knows which bits are in Malay and which bits are in English.
Whichever method you use really depends on what you’re trying to achieve.
October 29, 2007 at 7:49 am
TH,
Thanks a lot. For the first method , should the translation be in parentheses?
October 30, 2007 at 2:36 am
Alice – There are no hard and fast rules here. You can use parentheses if it makes things clearer.
November 1, 2007 at 10:09 am
I noticed most Chic-lit authors used more ‘said’ in dialogues rather than mind cluttering adverbs. No wonder their books are more fun to read. 🙂
Thanks for the great tip TH.
November 2, 2007 at 1:45 am
DNAS – That’s why we apply the KISS principle right. Even the great literary words gravitate towards the simple said. You’re welcome!
December 15, 2007 at 1:25 pm
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
December 17, 2007 at 6:25 am
Idetrorce – Then we can agree to disagree! “It’s a free world,” I said.