Living overseas I only received my six copies of 44 Cemetery Road a couple of days ago.

It’s always an odd sensation seeing my work in print. My 11th book but the feeling is no different than when I received my first one 16 years ago.

There’s always a feeling of excitement, joy, pleasure. Yet, strangely enough, these uplifting emotions are mixed with a tinge of anti climax, a sort of “there it is, so what, big deal.” How ungrateful, how unappreciative, one might think. Perhaps it’s just me. I wonder if other writers have felt that.

I stare at the cover. Sometimes I’m disappointed. At other times I think, “it’s okay, not too bad”. But this time, with 44 Cemetery Road, I feel elated. No doubt I took the cover photo and I’m proud of that, but it’s also a good cover.

I flip to the blurb. Sometimes I’m not too happy with the way it turned out. The font is too small. This time the size is perfect. Not too much text too. Easy to read. Easy on the eyes. Yes, I think it’s fine.

Then I dip into the pages, a paragraph here and there. I’m standing up, body still, my eyes shooting. I devour entire pages. I’m worried I might find a mistake, a typo. I try to stop myself but I’m already editing, could I have rephrased that, should I have used a better word. Is that sentence too long?

It’s done, I say to myself. You can’t change anything.

The book now has a life on its own.

I sit and wonder how the bookshops are displaying it. Will it be prominent? I hope it’ll sell well.

Mostly though, I hope readers will enjoy it.

Time to get back to that next book.