So are you Over-Desiring?
Do you yearn for too much?
If you want to be happy it may be time to drop some of your desires. Or to put it another way, these desires may be making you unhappy.
If we’re fulfilled in life, this necessarily means that we’re content. This means that we have everything we want.
Naturally, if we’re unfulfilled, then we’re not content. That’s because we don’t have all that we desire.
Correct?
But “Hey!”, you may well say, we really can’t lump all desires in the one basket, can we?
So here’s a way of looking at DESIRE more closely.
Some desires are mundane:
> I wish this check-out queue would move along.
> I’d like to have curry chicken for lunch.
> I wish they’d stop playing this loud music.
Some are aspirational:
> I need to be good at writing.
> I have to hit my sales quota this month.
> I want to own a latest model BMW.
Some are benevolent:
> I wish to end world poverty.
> I have to help my grief-stricken neighbour.
> I want to promote peace and goodwill.
Which ones do you think cause unhappiness. All of them or just some of them?
Or perhaps you might think that desires don’t cause unhappiness at all?
The important thing to note is that DESIRE comes from WITHIN. If happiness is linked to desire, then HAPPINESS comes from WITHIN.
“Hey!” you may again say. “I knew that already!”
But then pressed by the burdens, the pressures of this world, you may not agree. Or perhaps you just didn’t have the time to think about it. Or to even notice?
Hi Tunku,Desire does come from within and if happiness is linked to it then I agree that happainess comes from within.When I discuss this topic with my very busy well to do friends they said I must be having menopausal problems!They don’t the time to think of all these ‘silly things’.Another friend told ‘so what if happiness or desire comes from within?What difference does it make?My good friend who is very strong into Buddishm thinks otherwise.You see when I was younger I use to yearn for alot of expensive things.My happiness was based on cash,car and condo.My desire for these things were very great.I felt very unfulfilled without these luxurious.and envied friends who were well off. I wasn’t happy at all.As age caught up with me I realised simple things were very fulfilling.They meant alot to me.I felt happy doing simple favours for the needy people.For example giving free tuition to the kids in the kampung became a favourite hobby of mine.End of the day when I leave these small children I felt very happy.Their “thank yous”, hugs and toothless smile really made my day.My most beautiful christmas gift is something I will remember till the day I die. There is this young blind girl in the orphanage whom I bought a small and cheap doll for Christmas.She gave me the a good hug and thanked me for the doll.She told me that I must be as beautiful as the doll I bought her!That was and is my best Christmas gift because you see nor the doll or i are beautiful.itis kinda of difficult to explain these things but one thing is for sure it’s nice to feel fulfilled
I think unfulfilled aspirational desires are most likely to cause unhappiness, especially if driven by materialism. Having desires is fine, as long as you don’t get too caught up in them, and you’re also able to appreciate what you already have.
Krishna – I’m glad that you’ve found the way to happiness. It’s something that eludes so many of us. We seek it from the material world not from within. It’s a hard path to follow because we’re going against the crowd. Your experiences are learning stories which we all can benefit from.
JC Martin – I agree. Keeping that balance is so important.
Just managed to read this piece on happiness. Hmm, you are right, contentment is happiness. So I guess, the key is to be content with whatever we have – be it abound or abase. But this attitude should not negate leading productive life I guess, as productivity offers a different kind of fulfillment. Wow…I’m actually using my brain, best stop now
Anny – Living a productive life is certainly a good thing as long as we’re producing something that’s good!